Dose of Positivity

Pain Does Not Have To Mean Suffering


We all experience pain. Unfortunately we also have all experienced some type of suffering.  Suffering comes in many forms.  Physical suffering, mental suffering, emotional suffering, financial suffering and the list goes on.  Suffering is natural but it is not necessary.


I believe that most of us suffer because we are in the dark about how to stop that cycle.  The cycle I’m referring to is the cycle from pain to suffering.  When we realize that we can stop the cycle and then get the tools necessary to stop the check we will have more peace.  


What is suffering?


The original root sense of “to suffer” was “to bear or carry.” The Latin “sufferre,” meaning “to bear, undergo, carry,” with that in mind, when we suffer it’s because we are carrying pain.  For example:
Constantly talking about your terrible break up = carrying the pain of the breakup = suffering.


Constantly returning to a place of a tragedy = carrying the events of that tragedy with you = suffering.


There are many other examples but the bottom line is that when we choose to carry the events that caused us discomfort or pain we are choosing a state of suffering.


How Do I Minimize The Suffering In My Life?


☯️    Accept that there is nothing wrong with feeling hurt, sad, depression or any emotion at all. We are emotional beings so we have a full range of emotions at our disposal and we surely use them.
 
☯️    Set up guardrails.  Guardrails let you know when you have gone a little to far.  Guardrails in your life will do the same.  They will let you know when people or situations have gone too far.  When you get the guardrails notifications, back off or change course.
 
☯️    Limit the time of your suffering.  Yes, actually put a time limit to the amount of suffering that you will allow in your life.  It sounds easy and in fact it is.  You have more control over your thoughts and the direction of your thoughts than you can imagine.  Begin to build your mind control muscles by limiting the time you morn, talking about, cry about or suffer over a situation.

Suffering can’t be eliminated but it can be controlled.


Watch my YouTube video for a more in-depth conversation on developing your discipline muscle.




Until next time, 


🙏🏾 Please subscribe to my YouTube page below where I’m building a library of empower workshops.

What If? 

The world is full of uncertainty, which means that life is full of uncertainty.  I watched a Saturday Night Live comedy sketch that really put this uncertainty into perspective.  The sketch had three friends in December of2019 going to a fortune teller to get predictions of how their 2020 would turn out.  The things that the fortune teller predicted were situations that, based on our experience and expectations, you wouldn’t expect to happen.  That is how 2020 turned out. There were many things that we would have never imagined would happen that actually did happened.  


Think about it:
▪️Stocking up on toilet paper out of fear that it would be in limited supply.
▪️Not being able to eat inside of restaurants.
▪️Not being able to fly on a plane or go to any place without wearing a mask.
▪️Zoom holidays.


This year has put us all in the position of wondering and even asking, “what if?”.  We now realize how unpredictable life is. We realize that we don‘t individually control what happens in this world.  By this I mean that some tins require a joint effort, for example:


▪️To support a healthy atmosphere we ALL have to care about climate change.
▪️To support low disease, pandemics and outbreaks we ALL have to be safe in the way that we live our lives.
▪️In order to stop domestic violence we ALL have to care about not mentally or physically abusing anyone.


The “what if”, in and of it self, is not all bad.  The “what if” gives us an opportunity to plan and prepare for a better 2021.


How does the “what if” work?  There are two keys: 1. Plan for your best life and 2. Control the things that you can control.


Plan for your best life.
I am an obsessive planner. I even created a planner that will help you map out your life for 2021.  I have discovered that when you plan you are taking control of your life.  Planning is a way of taking action.  I suggest that you take time to map out all the positive, “What ifs” for 2021.  Then plan and map out the path to make those positive “what ifs” come to life. 


Control the things that you can control.
We spend too much time thinking about and worrying about what other people think or are saying about us.  We also spend a lot of time worrying about what certain circumstances are going to do to us.  I do believe in giving some consideration to the possible scenarios that you may find yourself in, however more time should be spent focusing on the things that you can control.  


You control your time - Your life is your life.  Your time is under your control but this control only lasts as long as the choices that you make.


You control who you spend your time with - Why do you continue to spend time with people who are not good for you? 


You control your mind - Your thoughts are yours but you allow other people to take space in your thoughts.  If the thoughts in your head are not good for you eliminate them because it’s under your control.


You control your body - This is a statement that is “mostly” true.  There are a few situations where you don’t control your body for example if you are in a physical jail, you don’t control what you do with your body.  Similarly, if you are in a physically abusive relationship - Domestic Violence, you may not control your physical body BUT both of those situations can be temporary if you take the first step and “plan” your way out.


The funny thing about control is that its a moving target, so you should start controlling what you can now because soon it ALL will be out of our control.


Life is full of “What ifs” and it will always be, however use your power to plan for the best and then control what you can.


Until next time, 


🏾 Please watch the video on this subject from my workshop by following my YouTube page below.🏾





“Live in Love, Flow in Love,”
Judge William Dawson
judgewilliamdawson@gmail.com

Face Your FearsIt is time to grow. It is time to be better than you have been.  The great news is that a New Year brings new opportunities. A new month brings new opportunities .  A new day brings new opportunities as well as every new moment.  The question is will you take advantage of these moments of renewal or let them slip away?


The majority of people would answer this question with a resounding YES, but the truth of the matter is that once the newness of a new year wears off many people will find themselves doing the exact same things as before, accepting the same situations as before and in the same rut as before.  One reason for this fall back is that some people, maybe even you, are afraid to win.


I can imagine that if, in person, I asked you if you are afraid to win you would object louder than a defense attorney in the court room.  However, if you give some deep thought to this question you may discover the hidden and suppressed fears, those deep down fears that keep you from winning.


To fight against losing the new year before it begins I offer you a Cycle Breaker tool that I teach in my leadership, empowerment and yoga trainings.  The tool is for you to STEP UP AND FACE YOUR FEARS!

• Discover The Fears That Exist

What is a major goal or plan that you keep intending to complete?  Maybe its something that makes your New Year resolution list every year.  Maybe its something that you really want or need right now.  Once you have identified this goal write out exactly what scares you about it.  This is an important step because most of us will write out a superficial statement, but after that first statement, go a little deeper.  What “really” scares you about this goal?

• Name That fear

Now that you have identified that fear is holding you back, name that exact fear.  Give it a name and make it personal.  The closer you are to identifying your fear, you’ll have a better chance at changing it.

• Face the Fear

Now its time to face and then destroy that fear with these tools:
                                ▪️Discover Your WhyWhy is it important for you to achieve your goal or complete the plan?  When you discover your why, the why will pull you toward the finish line.


                                ▪️Identify The ConsequencesWhat are the consequence that you will face if you don’t complete the task? It could be as serious as you going to jail for behavior that you don’t stop or things that you don’t complete.  It could be simply that you will find your heart broken if you fail to reach your goal.


                                ▪️Identify The Benefits.What are the benefits that you will receive when you achieve your goal? You can gain a lot of momentum when you think about and strive for those benefits.  Let’s keep it real, we all like rewards.


                                ▪️Go!Now go!  Don’t wait for Monday. Don’t wait until your order from Amazon comes in.  Move now taking action, even if they are small steps.  Move toward your goal.


Once you put these tools into action you will destroy your fears and begin to achieve all the goals and plans that you have for your best life.


Until next time, 


🏾 Please subscribe to my YouTube page below where I’m building a library of empower workshops.🏾

ForgivenessForgiveness is a humbling process and it takes a lot of hard work.  To let go of pain and anger takes serious effort.  It’s easy to talk about forgiveness and even easier to tell someone else to forgive but to apply forgiveness takes more than just words.


Steps to forgiveness


⚖️    Acknowledge That You Have Been Forgiven


Those who believe and follow God know that forgiveness exists.  Those who believe in and respect the “universe” knows that forgiveness exists.  Even those who don’t believe in a higher Power know that forgiveness exists.  We all believe that forgiveness exists because at some point in our lives we have been forgiven.  Maybe you were forgiven by your mother, at least once (think of the time you broke something in your house as a kid). Maybe you’ve been forgiven by your boss for a mistake you made at work.  Maybe a Judge, like me, gave you a lower fine or even dismissed your case, showing compassion.  There are countless examples of forgiveness yet we have a hard time applying it in our lives.  The first step to applying forgiveness is to acknowledge that you have been forgiven, so you know that forgiveness is possible.


⚖️    Get out of Jail
 Unforgiveness is a jail that we voluntarily walk into.  Why do we walk into this jail?  I submit to you that we walk into the jail of unforgiveness because it is the path of least resistance.  It’s easier to close the door and lock it behind you when something hasn’t gone the way that you wanted it to go.  To do this is to voluntarily put yourself in a jail or prison of unforgiveness.  That jail has four walls and a ceiling that will keep you closed off and locked away from all the sunshine available to you.


⚖️    Take Control
 When we live in a state of unforgiveness we are allowing something outside of our control to have dominance over our lives.  When we constantly blame others and cling to the hurt of the past we are unable to live in the present and fully enjoy our lives.  Don’t give up control in one ofthe few areas where you have total control.  No one can take away your ability to forgive.


⚖️    Take Responsibility
 Responsibility is a step further than control.  Control is knowing that you have the power.  Responsibility is knowing that using your power to forgive is all up to you.


When you take responsibility you are designing the life that you want.  I know you don’t want to live in hurt and pain.  Design  life that minimizes hurt and pain.  I know you don’t want to live repeating wrongs and bad experiences. Instead design your life in a way that you wipe the continuance of those wrongs and bad decisions out of your life.


How do you wipe the bad memories out of your life? You stop giving them life by practicing forgiveness!




Until next time, 


🏾 Please subscribe to my YouTube page below where I’m building a library of empower workshops.🏾

​
Just Love

Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could just love? 
Imagine what the world would be like.
Imagine what it would be like in your community.
Imagine what it would be like on your job. 
Imagine what it would be like in your family.
 
The challenge to simply loving is the human side of all of us. 
As humans we hurt.  
As humans we have long memories.  
As humans we take offense and we defend.
As humans we naturally expect something in exchange for our love.  
 
Let's go higher.  Let's try to love gratuitously.  I can already hear the push back from some of you because you are thinking, "I can't love _____ because of _____."  That's where the challenge comes in.  I challenge you to love gratuitously not because the world, the community, the co-worker or that person deserves it.  I want you to love gratuitously as thanks for life, your life right now. 
 
Allow a higher level of gratitude to help you send love to the world. Love gratuitously, not because of anything the world or people have done for us or because of anything that we owe anyone, but simply because love and life has been freely given to us.
 
 
 
Until next time, 
 
🏾 Please subscribe to my YouTube page below where I’m building a library of empower workshops.🏾

One of the blessings of my position as a Municipal Court Judge is the fact that I meet and interact with so many wonderful people every day that I have many chances to gain and exchange wisdom.  In addition to my court room experience, I spent many years as a Defense attorney and all my life as a woke Black Man.  One reoccurring theme in life is that we often let our mess go unaddressed. We ignore the very things that are keeping us from truly living our best lives. However, If you want to live your best life you have to clean up your mess.


CONFRONT THE ISSUES IN FRONT OF YOU 

In order to change and move from where you are to where you want to be you have to gain the courage to confront the issues in front of you.  I get asked for advise often and I’ve come to lean that that people will ask me for advice and then defend against the answer that I give them.  They’ll ask “Do you think that I should leave this relationship because she is consistently acting disrespectful?”  Or some other question just like that.  Then I’ll start to say “from the outside looking in that person simply is not right for you...,” and before I can finish the sentence the person who asked me for advise begins to defend the person, the question and the answer. “Well I am the one who starts a lot of the arguments.....” 

I understand that many issues, situations and relationships are more than surface deep and it takes more than a few minutes of advise to get to the bottom of a problem and to the best solution, however many of you don’t even want to try.  You would rather sit in your mess, deal with the same limited success or occasional pain than to clean up your Sh*^.  Notice that I said “occasional pain” because when it comes to admitting that you need to make a major change in your life, all of a sudden the situation was not that bad.  “He only hit me a few times.” “She only acts that way when she’s been drinking.” But as I said, in order to move to the place that you know you deserve or at least to move in the direction of your gut feeling that life can be better, you have to be honest, identify, name and confront the issues that are in front of you.


COMMIT TO THE LIFE YOU WANT TO LIVE

You have to commit to the life that you want to live.  You have to commit to the success that you want to achieve.  Instead of doing this, people commit to a person, place or ideal even when that person, place or ideal doesn't’ serve them any more.
  
Instead of being so willing to commit to other people and to commit to ideas, commit to the life that you want to live. You already know the life that you want to live.  You already know the dreams that you have for your career, you already know the dreams that you have for your family.  You already know the dreams that you have for your relationship.  Why do you continue to settle for less than the life that you want?

In my court I see the result of not staying committed to the life that you really want to live.  I see the grief.  I see the regret.  I see the pain.  I see devastation that life can bring when you fail to confront your issues.  I see the traps that life presents when you won’t even admit that you have any issues at all.  ​

When you are truly ready to get off the treadmill of moving everyday, all day and never getting anywhere closer to the dream life that you want, you have to first confront the issues that are in front of you and then make a new commitment with yourself and a commitment to the life that you want to live.  In other words, you have to clean up you Sh*^!